Relationships

How Important is the Friends’ Seal of Approval?


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So, Crushes, I was just thinking about something and wanted to share.  A few weeks ago I met my friend’s new boyfriend. They live in another city, so this was my first time really getting to know him since they became official. I could tell my friend was really, really excited for me to spend some time with her new guy. My boyfriend and I went on a double date with the lovebirds. We then went out to a bar with some friends from college (all of them are guys except for my friend and me). I could see my friend was carefully watching how New Boyfriend and I were interacting. Were we joking around? Did we have things in common?

While my friend was concerned about the best friend/boyfriend dynamic, I found the boyfriend/guy friends dynamic more interesting. It was funny to watch them meet, get a feel for each other, try out some jokes, and try to make small talk. Once the guys found out that New Boyfriend was a huge sports fan, life was instantly good. No more awkward chatter. They were talking like they had known each other their whole lives.  Stereotypical? Yes, but it’s true.

I liked New Boyfriend a lot, but I also really liked the fact that he got along well with our friends. It made the night easier knowing that everyone was comfortable and having fun. This brings me to the topic of  ”plays well with others,” also known as how he gets along with your friends. If a guy you’re seeing doesn’t mesh well with your friends, would that stop you from taking it to the next level? I know for me it would be a deal breaker. My guy’s ability/desire to mix and mingle with my friends is huge. In fact, my boyfriend’s outgoing nature is something that originally attracted me to him.

There is something very nice about knowing that you can go into any social situation with your guy. It’s like being a part of a team. You should be able to go to a family wedding and not worry about what your guy and your cousin Tommy are going to talk about. You want to be able to go to a business function and network your face off without worrying about your guy clinging to you the whole night. But here’s where it gets tricky. Despite all of this, your relationship is between you two. Friends and family are important, but at the end of the day you have to be able to go home with this guy and spend time alone and be satisfied. You have to live your life with this person and feel like he’s treating you the way you deserve to be treated. If he’s great to you in every other area of life, but he’s not so great when he meets people for the first time, maybe you can overcome that together.

So basically what I’m weighing is this: How important are a guy’s social skills? If he gets a less-than-stellar first review from your friends, is that a deal breaker?  Is his “plays well with others” factor a part of what attracts you to him, or is it just an added bonus? I think, for me, the way he socializes makes him more (or less attractive), but I’d be interested to hear some other thoughts. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!


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